Higit Sa Salita - Part 6

"Okay na po ba ang apo ko?" "Yes, Donya Isabella she needs a little more rest" "What happened to her? Ngayon lang sya ulit nagkaganito doc?" "Going back here might recall her past I'll go ahead donya" "I shouldn't approve to this I knew this would happen" I hear it when My eyes slowly lit up. I saw lola infront of me. "Lola" sabi ko she glanced and fastly sit beside on my bed. "Alcie kamusta ang pakiramdam mo?" She worriedly said. "Dont worry I am alright" I said for assurance. "Then you should rest apo don't force yourself to remember anything alright" she said then kiss me on the head. I just nodded and smiled at her as she walks out my room. I slowly get up on my bed and sit beside the bed My eyes travelled around my bed and started to think a lot ang mga paa ko ay tumunggo sa kwarto ng mga magulang ko I grab the picture frame and sit beside their bed. "I hope you're here Mom" I closed my eyes then suddenly tears ran down into my cheeks. "I've miss you a lot" 2 years ago... "Anak dahan dahan lang" I ignored what she said, I drive fast as I could. "Alcie pls calm down" she said pleading. Hinigpitan ko pa ang hawak sa manibela I felt mad, angry tears filled my eyes. Sa nadaanan naming tulay ay may isang sasakyan na in-overtekan ang isang truck. My eyes widened I panicked niliko ko ang sasakyan namin sa pagkakaakalang makakaiwas sa dumadagusong sasakyan. I felt my mother's hand on my wrist "Alcie" she worriedly said. There's nothing I can do we end up crashing to the railings of the bridge dahil wala akong seatbelt nabagok ang ulo ko sa manibela and we went down to the river. I feel like drowning. - "Mom!" I said as I wake up to a bad dream Nakatulog pala ako dito sa kwarto ng di ko namalayan I cried while I was having a bad dream sana ay ganon nalang panaginip pero yon ang naalalakong nangyari. "Alcie?" I heard nana Vic voice and went inside were I was She looked shocked when he see my face devastated and crying. "Alcie, anong nangyari? Hah" she ask worried and put her hand on my hair. "N-nana, S-si mom" I can't barely speak. "Shh nanaginip ka Alcie" "Nana bakit wala parin akong maalala tanging yon lang bakit? Bakit bakit?" I said devastated and repeatedly punch my head out of frustration. This tragic memory keep me from waking and thinking every night they say that it was just an accident and it's not my fault but for me I felt responsible for that accident no matter how much I try to remember my head started to hurt the more I want to remember the harder for me. "Alcie tama na wag mong pilitin ang sarili mo" she said hinawakan nya ang kamay ko at niyakap. "Kasalanan ko nana kasalanan ko na nawala si Mom" I hugged her back. "Shh tahan na Alcie wag mong sisihin ang sarili mo hindi mo kasalanan yon" "Ako ang may kasalanan, if it wasn't for me di sana kami na aksidente ni hindi ko nga maalala kong bakit ako nagkaganun k-kong bakit galit na galit ako nana did you know anything pls help me" I pleaded as my tears went down. "Pasensya kana Alcie di ko rin alam ang nangyari" I woke up one day not knowing who I am ,I just know that we had an accident but I dont know how and why did it happen. As I wake up on that day cant recognize everyone even my dad and brother I just feel pain. I dont know who I am everything is clueless. I feel empty... We spend a week in the hospital all day just glancing at the ceiling and dont know what to do they decided that Dad and I must go to the New York. Hindi rin ako umangal dahil di ko rin naman kong sino ako until now. That's why I dont have a chance to remember pano ako mamuhay noon , did I have any friends?, bestfriend?, did I ever been inlove? I want to know my old self. but now I am back It made me realize that for me to heal and to move on is to know my past...